I Am Full

The day after Christmas and I was still full of Christmas. Full of love, fun, family, cheer and food. And many goodies still hanging around. Low carb/sugar be damned…I continued to indulge on pie, candy, and all the good stuff from Christmas dinner. Thank God I threw those smashed white potatoes away!

So full – I thought barfing might be a good possibility. Oh well…went to bed and fell asleep pretty fast. However, I had a really bothersome dream.

In it I was in a hotel trying to pack my bag to catch my flight home. I could not find my plane ticket information. And it seemed I could not pack my bags which kept multiplying.  I was feeling very frustrated…since I would finally get the bag full and then another bag and more clothes would appear.  It was crazy.  Then I noticed in the back of the room my mother sitting there.  She kept whispering to me how much she hated me and was disappointed in me. The more I packed the louder she got.  I was just going wild trying to get out of that room, find my ticket and away from her negative destructive droning.

I awoke with a jolt and sat up. Freaked out, I just sat in bed and tried my relaxation breathing…however the sad/bad/frustrated feeling held on for hours and I was afraid to close my eyes or a nap or later that night.

So, there is this cool website with definitions on dreams.  Here is what it said:

  • To dream that you lose a ticket denotes confusion and ambiguity in the direction of your life.
  • To dream that you are packing, but the more your pack, the more there is to pack implies that you are weighed down by the endless responsibilities and expectations in your life. As a result, you are stuck in your current circumstances.
  • There was no interpretations on a mother that says she hates you.

Wow, what an eye opener for me.  Am I really weighed down by responsibilities and expectations and full of confusion and ambiguity on what to do about them???  When I put some serious thought about it the answer is – yes.

Yes, we have a lot going on at this point in our lives…being a sandwich couple with generations on both sides of us.  We are trying to sell our rental home and getting ready for a vacation.  The holidays were here and although we don’t do much in the way of shopping…we donate to charities and give to college funds…it is still a bit of a hustle and bustle with meals and visiting.  It was very fun.

Add that to my two jobs, my art, yoga, my mom and Thomas being sick…yes I have a lot on my plate.

The confusion in my dream got me thinking about making things more simple around here. I am researching and moving toward starting to follow a minimalist lifestyle.  Now, I know you all are saying how can someone with 1,000 plus rubber ducks be a minimalist??  Well, I think I can.

I started already by going through the ironing basket.  OMG…there were shirts at the bottom from five years ago. Starting with a big black garbage bag and a strong intention, I took a bunch of good clothes from my closet to the thrift store.  Shoes too!

It felt great.  Frankly I can’t remember what I took.  I don’t miss anything.

Then I started on my filing cabinet for work and my personal files.  I took two cases of papers to the shredder guy.

Again, what a relief!

So, I have been pondering the possibility of not buying new clothes for a year.  Nothing new in the door and working on purging my closet, drawers, and boxes under the bed!  The idea of no new purchases came to me after my last trip to Arizona. I bought a bunch of clothes on a whim and after hauling them home I ended up returning the lot to the various national chains!

Lonnie and I were at a friend’s house for dinner the other night and I mentioned it.  It was the first he had heard about my plan. He threw the gauntlet down hard.  He came right out and said I couldn’t do it.  Oh my, what a challenge.

I really like to shop. It is retail therapy.  I love the hunt for bargains and just getting out of the house for an hour or two.

I will let you know how it goes.

Happy New Year!